So I feel like this next post is kinda pointless, and most of you will find no intrigue when reading it, maybe some of you will, but I really doubt it. So I've spent the better part of the last couple weeks doing nothing in particular waiting for a call here and there to see if I can get some hours at Shaw's. BTW I got a job at Shaw's....but that's not really the point. While I've been waiting I've been thinking about all these random things, from bits and pieces of philosophy to wondering why it is that cartons of Tropicana Juice look so much better than they used to but now only contain 59 ounces.
Working in a supermarket is great, don't get me wrong or anything, I thoroughly enjoyed going door to door telling people they should donate money to save their drinking water, having the door slammed on me, or a lame excuse why they are busy, every time, not.... Air conditioning is much better than it was walking around in the sweltering sun, pounding down on me as I made my way up five mile driveways, only to find that no one was home, or if there was someone there, they'd always seem to be talking on the phone or have way to much to do at the moment. Thank you's are also rather nice; after handing someone their groceries, it's nice to see a smile and and thankful look. Better than a protective suspicious look at the chinese guy trying to take money from me.
I feel kinda bad for never visiting, you know, high school, middle school, church, old peeps, It's just too far away, or maybe that's just an excuse, I feel out of touch I don't know where any of the grade below me is headed for college, and don't know what's going on in their lives. But no matter, I have lots of time to catch up, I just wish I had enough time for everyone, but that's just not possible, not with the way the world is designed. Sucks.
And on that note, I'd like to do my pre-pre-season predictions for the NBA, because it's really the only sport worth talking about now. My choice for rookie of the year, is Net's power foward Derrick Favors and the all rookie first team is as follows:
PG John Wall (Was)
SG Lance Stephenson (IND)
SF Al-Farouq Aminu (LAC)
PF Derrick Favors (NJ/NEW)
C Tiago Splitter (SAS)
The lakers will win the championship again, unfortunately, Kobe will be the MVP of the league and team USA will finish with a silver in the Turkey championships, if all goes as I say, and you're reading this post you will owe me money, but not because you bet me on this, but for some other redicoulous reason.
As I said at the beginning of the post, reading this was probably a waste of your time. Thanks for reading
Friday, July 23, 2010
Friday, June 18, 2010
No Title
Before you're even born, before someone decided you should be born, or before someone accidentally did something, and decided that you should be born instead of being cut up into little pieces, you have been given a set of expectations. Your parents expect you to do something, whether that something is to become a surgeon, to go to college, learn chinese and take care of your parents when they are older or simply to be a good child and be teachable so that your parents can mold you into what they believe that you should be. As you grow older though, you do not only have the expectations that other have placed upon you, but you also have your own. The goals which you have set for yourself, those which you expect to accomplish, and those that you wish you could but you know that you can't. But the thing is, you also have your minimal expectations, I want to be atleast a McDonalds manager, or even more common, atleast be married even if i'm not happy with my spouse. These goals can be dangerous in my opinion, if one does not meet these goals, it may seem that the person's life is a complete fail, and the person may become depressed. I'm not saying that you shouldn't set your bar high, I'm just saying that you should really have a bar, but rather imagine life as an open sky. The world has endless hope and wonder, and even if you don't make it to the top you still have a comfortable way of living not so high up.
On that note, I should say something about how my life has been. I am sitting here at home, unemployed, and well to a certain extent bored. Not bored in the sense that I have nothing to do, but bored as in I am starting to become tired of the fact that I am doing nothing to push myself towards my long term goals. Each day I wake up at around 10 maybe 10:30 and eat a late breakfast that my parents prepared for me hours ago and have kept in the rice cooker in hopes of keeping it warm but still remains cold and undelicious, then I proceed to watch TV until lunch is prepared, and after lunch, I tend to find something to do, I go outside and shoot around at the park, or I find some sort of math problem I can attempt to solve, or maybe somebody has become free and maybe they'll want to hang out. Unfortunately, on some days none of that seems to happen at all. I know I might be making this seem more pathetic than it actually is, but make no mistake, I am by no means miserable. I simply wish to point out the dreariness of my day.
I mean it's not all too bad, on occasion I find something interesting to do; for instance a couple of days ago, it was tuesday actually I went to pick up my check (because I managed to keep a job for 2 days), it turned out to be more money than i expected, but still low based upon minimum wage standards. Afterward I went to the Copley library to return a book I borrowed with Allen's library card, and while I was there I decided that I would use the bathroom, which is in the basement, and while I was in the basement, I went to visit the Business Library, which is also in the basement, and I looked up random things from things like the recent recession, the 2000 census facts, to "How to start your own eBay business: For Dummies". All in all, I really enjoy going to the library, it's a refreshing place to go. I've been there twice since the end of spring semester and I highly recommend it.
The one thing I have to take from my summer so far....well I haven't really done too much, but I guess I've learned I should do something each and everyday, because each and every day is precious, a gift they say, the present. And the thing is I have done something everyday, I just need to keep it up, and hopefully my summer of 2010 won't seem like a waste...
On that note, I should say something about how my life has been. I am sitting here at home, unemployed, and well to a certain extent bored. Not bored in the sense that I have nothing to do, but bored as in I am starting to become tired of the fact that I am doing nothing to push myself towards my long term goals. Each day I wake up at around 10 maybe 10:30 and eat a late breakfast that my parents prepared for me hours ago and have kept in the rice cooker in hopes of keeping it warm but still remains cold and undelicious, then I proceed to watch TV until lunch is prepared, and after lunch, I tend to find something to do, I go outside and shoot around at the park, or I find some sort of math problem I can attempt to solve, or maybe somebody has become free and maybe they'll want to hang out. Unfortunately, on some days none of that seems to happen at all. I know I might be making this seem more pathetic than it actually is, but make no mistake, I am by no means miserable. I simply wish to point out the dreariness of my day.
I mean it's not all too bad, on occasion I find something interesting to do; for instance a couple of days ago, it was tuesday actually I went to pick up my check (because I managed to keep a job for 2 days), it turned out to be more money than i expected, but still low based upon minimum wage standards. Afterward I went to the Copley library to return a book I borrowed with Allen's library card, and while I was there I decided that I would use the bathroom, which is in the basement, and while I was in the basement, I went to visit the Business Library, which is also in the basement, and I looked up random things from things like the recent recession, the 2000 census facts, to "How to start your own eBay business: For Dummies". All in all, I really enjoy going to the library, it's a refreshing place to go. I've been there twice since the end of spring semester and I highly recommend it.
The one thing I have to take from my summer so far....well I haven't really done too much, but I guess I've learned I should do something each and everyday, because each and every day is precious, a gift they say, the present. And the thing is I have done something everyday, I just need to keep it up, and hopefully my summer of 2010 won't seem like a waste...
Thursday, May 13, 2010
God is like a shower head
How many times have you come home after a wicked long day, step in the shower and just turn on the hot water and not want to stand, but instead you sit there. If you are normal unlike me, your answer is probably zero. But that's what I did on sunday, but not after a long day, in the morning. It's a nice feeling sitting down in that Umass Amherst bathtub, admiring the cleanliness of the bottom. The warm water is beating down on your sore body, and you just kinda sit there and think.
The showerhead, well it's alot like God, well atleast if you're sitting down. (You should try it every once in a while, it makes cleaning your feet alot easier.) The shower head, at that moment, is where everything comes from, it pours water down on you, sometimes it comforts you and makes you feel amazing, it makes you happy. And other times the shower, well it only spits out sub zero temperature water, making you flinch and try to run away when you have nowhere to go other than that small 5 foot by 3 foot ivory container called a tub. (Yes, I realize that you can't have sub-zero water, but guess what it's moving, so there's Kinetic energy, so you can!! Ha!!, you think your so smart but you're not, anyways...) You're trapped, forced to go through the 10 minutes or so of biting cold shower, because you'd rather be clean than dirty. And the shower is also where you become clean, it's the place where you can bring whatever is on your body dirt, grass, blood, spaghetti stains, anything, and the waters will wash it away.
Good Days and Bad Days
"Some days you're the bird, some days you're the statue". Only strange people don't have good stretches and bad stretches within their lives. At times you can feel like God is on your side, when everything is alright, when everything runs smoothly, and it feels like, a warm relaxing shower. And at other times it's just a cold dark world out there where nothing is going your way, and it seems like your entire life is ruined. You want to (remember our analogy is sitting in a shower) change the dial and make everything better but you can't and you have to wait it out. You have to ride through the storm. God gives us both times, good and bad, why is something that some can theorize and explain, but there is no one conclusive answer. Thing is though we have to just take it and go along for the ride.
You will always be naked
Before God, you are naked, He sees everything that you are, no matter how much you try to hide it, no matter how well you can conceal behind your poker face, he can see right through it. Wouldn't it be great if we were always naked? Not in the typical way we think of naked, but in the way that we wouldn't have to keep secrets from each other, we would never have to try to hide our insides. When you enter a shower, you will never get clean if you go in with your clothes on. So how can we expect God to help us be pure, if we try to hide ourselves from him? God's power may be unlimited, but (correct me if i'm wrong) I don't think God can truly help you if you cannot come naked before Him.
Bad Analogy Apology
This analogy made sense when i came out of the shower, and it still feels right to me now. But if you disagree you know post something, I don't really know how, i never posted any comments in my life, just, well, I hope you enjoyed this random rant, but it really means something to me, so don't make fun of me or anything. You can respectfully disagree but I mean don't be like "You're stupid" because that's just really immature, I'm sure you can find some other way to express that. This last paragraph doesn't make any sense whatsoever, and there's random bold letters, something happened to the text thing and I couldn't figure out how to fix it, but until next time.
The showerhead, well it's alot like God, well atleast if you're sitting down. (You should try it every once in a while, it makes cleaning your feet alot easier.) The shower head, at that moment, is where everything comes from, it pours water down on you, sometimes it comforts you and makes you feel amazing, it makes you happy. And other times the shower, well it only spits out sub zero temperature water, making you flinch and try to run away when you have nowhere to go other than that small 5 foot by 3 foot ivory container called a tub. (Yes, I realize that you can't have sub-zero water, but guess what it's moving, so there's Kinetic energy, so you can!! Ha!!, you think your so smart but you're not, anyways...) You're trapped, forced to go through the 10 minutes or so of biting cold shower, because you'd rather be clean than dirty. And the shower is also where you become clean, it's the place where you can bring whatever is on your body dirt, grass, blood, spaghetti stains, anything, and the waters will wash it away.
Good Days and Bad Days
"Some days you're the bird, some days you're the statue". Only strange people don't have good stretches and bad stretches within their lives. At times you can feel like God is on your side, when everything is alright, when everything runs smoothly, and it feels like, a warm relaxing shower. And at other times it's just a cold dark world out there where nothing is going your way, and it seems like your entire life is ruined. You want to (remember our analogy is sitting in a shower) change the dial and make everything better but you can't and you have to wait it out. You have to ride through the storm. God gives us both times, good and bad, why is something that some can theorize and explain, but there is no one conclusive answer. Thing is though we have to just take it and go along for the ride.
You will always be naked
Before God, you are naked, He sees everything that you are, no matter how much you try to hide it, no matter how well you can conceal behind your poker face, he can see right through it. Wouldn't it be great if we were always naked? Not in the typical way we think of naked, but in the way that we wouldn't have to keep secrets from each other, we would never have to try to hide our insides. When you enter a shower, you will never get clean if you go in with your clothes on. So how can we expect God to help us be pure, if we try to hide ourselves from him? God's power may be unlimited, but (correct me if i'm wrong) I don't think God can truly help you if you cannot come naked before Him.
Bad Analogy Apology
This analogy made sense when i came out of the shower, and it still feels right to me now. But if you disagree you know post something, I don't really know how, i never posted any comments in my life, just, well, I hope you enjoyed this random rant, but it really means something to me, so don't make fun of me or anything. You can respectfully disagree but I mean don't be like "You're stupid" because that's just really immature, I'm sure you can find some other way to express that. This last paragraph doesn't make any sense whatsoever, and there's random bold letters, something happened to the text thing and I couldn't figure out how to fix it, but until next time.
Sunday, January 10, 2010
Striving For Excellence
I wanna start off by saying that I've wanted to write this post for a long time now, but have never gotten around to actually writing it. I also want to say that both my picks for the Superbowl are still alive (see October post).
Well as we have all learned from our youth, nobody is perfect and no human has every come close to perfection...at all, and well we all strive in some sense to become excellent. Everyone has their flaws whether they be out in the open or closed behind closed doors, kept away, so that nobody knows. Well I just wanted to write a little about certain people, and how they have character traits or just traits, that I wish I could have to some degree.
The first person would have to be Susanne Cho. You may not know her by name, but you would definetly know her as soon as you hear that laugh of hers. Ever since the first day I met her (and before then too, I assume) I have never heard her stop laughing. Susanne, you would say, has this ability to laugh and get happy about almost anything. Some people call it foolish, but I would call it Bliss. It might be too strong of a word, but work with me. If you can find anything to be amusing, if you could find anything to be funny, hysterical, or if it even just makes you kinda giggle in your head, then arn't you as happy as a dead bird? (That's an old phrase, but you get what i mean). I like to think that I used to be capable of such a thing, but I now find it hard to see me ever being that happy, that joyful. There's just too much to do and to much to accomplish within a certain time frame, and I wish I would be able to take some time out and just laugh at something no matter how redicoulous it may be.
Calvin He would be number two on this list. Most of you (if any of you) who are reading this blog probably do not know who he is. Calvin He, was one of the campers who attended Project Destiny, a summer camp at my church in 2008 and 2009. Since his first year at PD he has come to accept Christ into his heart without as much of a second thought. I was his Junior Counselor his in 2008, and he does seem a little strange but he has something that is very rare now in our new age society; he has what Jesus called "Faith of a child". By this I mean, he is able to take something that he hears or reads and simply is not able to reject the idea. Most people would call this ignorant, or uninformed, unknowledgeable. Well consider this, if a said person is able to accept a given fact as truth, is there any doubt in his mind? Is there any reason for him to think otherwise? This person is happy with their justification, and their beliefs; this person is Happy beyond belief.
I know it may not make any sense, but I want to have completely blind faith, in anything, it doesn't even matter. I've come to question everything that comes into my presence, nitpicking at details, trying to figure out the truth behind every little thing. Most people would say that that is how society is able to propel itself forward, but I want to be able to say that I believe that such a thing is so, and that no matter what you say I still believe it to be so with all of my heart, no doubt left within me.
Mena. Its funny that firefox spell check says Mena is spelled incorrectly, I feel bad for those people, whose names are constantly said to be wrong by text applications. Nevertheless, Mena has these qualities, that I cannot exactly say,there is no one particular quality that stands out, but it is a culmination of a lot of them, it's like an aura that emits from her. It's really no one thing in particular, but she is just I don't know how to put it, but she is just very "good". Don't take this the wrong way now. One thing about Mena is that she is always sincere (maybe she's just very good at hiding her true feelings, but for our purposes, we'll just have to assume), when she is happy, she is happy, and when she is sad, or angry, she has no problem voicing her feelings. It's not a bad thing, it's a good thing really. Mena just knows what to do in a given situation, not that she knows herself, but she knows when a job is too much for herself to handle and just all sorts of stuff. It may not sound all like good things, but dead serious, they are to me, like how everyone on the west side of Boston thinks goofy is a bad thing, but I think it's a rather good thing, like Will Smith Goofy.
Conclusion
To be honest, I don't know why I'm not satisfied with who I am. I've always wanted to be a better person, I guess i just never had a specific direction to go on. Sometimes, I just hope that I could be me, me like 3 years ago. I think i was a lot happier then, but I might just be imagining things. Well i guess 2010 will be something to look forward to...Drop comment if you read, it's nice to see : )
Well as we have all learned from our youth, nobody is perfect and no human has every come close to perfection...at all, and well we all strive in some sense to become excellent. Everyone has their flaws whether they be out in the open or closed behind closed doors, kept away, so that nobody knows. Well I just wanted to write a little about certain people, and how they have character traits or just traits, that I wish I could have to some degree.
The first person would have to be Susanne Cho. You may not know her by name, but you would definetly know her as soon as you hear that laugh of hers. Ever since the first day I met her (and before then too, I assume) I have never heard her stop laughing. Susanne, you would say, has this ability to laugh and get happy about almost anything. Some people call it foolish, but I would call it Bliss. It might be too strong of a word, but work with me. If you can find anything to be amusing, if you could find anything to be funny, hysterical, or if it even just makes you kinda giggle in your head, then arn't you as happy as a dead bird? (That's an old phrase, but you get what i mean). I like to think that I used to be capable of such a thing, but I now find it hard to see me ever being that happy, that joyful. There's just too much to do and to much to accomplish within a certain time frame, and I wish I would be able to take some time out and just laugh at something no matter how redicoulous it may be.
Calvin He would be number two on this list. Most of you (if any of you) who are reading this blog probably do not know who he is. Calvin He, was one of the campers who attended Project Destiny, a summer camp at my church in 2008 and 2009. Since his first year at PD he has come to accept Christ into his heart without as much of a second thought. I was his Junior Counselor his in 2008, and he does seem a little strange but he has something that is very rare now in our new age society; he has what Jesus called "Faith of a child". By this I mean, he is able to take something that he hears or reads and simply is not able to reject the idea. Most people would call this ignorant, or uninformed, unknowledgeable. Well consider this, if a said person is able to accept a given fact as truth, is there any doubt in his mind? Is there any reason for him to think otherwise? This person is happy with their justification, and their beliefs; this person is Happy beyond belief.
I know it may not make any sense, but I want to have completely blind faith, in anything, it doesn't even matter. I've come to question everything that comes into my presence, nitpicking at details, trying to figure out the truth behind every little thing. Most people would say that that is how society is able to propel itself forward, but I want to be able to say that I believe that such a thing is so, and that no matter what you say I still believe it to be so with all of my heart, no doubt left within me.
Mena. Its funny that firefox spell check says Mena is spelled incorrectly, I feel bad for those people, whose names are constantly said to be wrong by text applications. Nevertheless, Mena has these qualities, that I cannot exactly say,there is no one particular quality that stands out, but it is a culmination of a lot of them, it's like an aura that emits from her. It's really no one thing in particular, but she is just I don't know how to put it, but she is just very "good". Don't take this the wrong way now. One thing about Mena is that she is always sincere (maybe she's just very good at hiding her true feelings, but for our purposes, we'll just have to assume), when she is happy, she is happy, and when she is sad, or angry, she has no problem voicing her feelings. It's not a bad thing, it's a good thing really. Mena just knows what to do in a given situation, not that she knows herself, but she knows when a job is too much for herself to handle and just all sorts of stuff. It may not sound all like good things, but dead serious, they are to me, like how everyone on the west side of Boston thinks goofy is a bad thing, but I think it's a rather good thing, like Will Smith Goofy.
Conclusion
To be honest, I don't know why I'm not satisfied with who I am. I've always wanted to be a better person, I guess i just never had a specific direction to go on. Sometimes, I just hope that I could be me, me like 3 years ago. I think i was a lot happier then, but I might just be imagining things. Well i guess 2010 will be something to look forward to...Drop comment if you read, it's nice to see : )
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